Sweet Jesus, it’s the ugliest shake I’ve ever made. But, you know I wouldn’t post a shake recipe here if it didn’t taste good, so take my word for it.

I’m not posting photos because I don’t want to scare you.

Shake Theory

Unlike most of my smoothies, this one does not contain protein powder. The intention behind it wasn’t to make a well-rounded meal replacement – instead, I just wanted to pulverize and quickly consume a bunch of fruits and vegetables. It’s a great way to quickly get a big hit of fiber, vitamins, anti-oxidants, and greens. All you have to do is add, pulverize and glug, glug, glug.

Ingredients

1 c. frozen berry mix

.75 c strawberries

1 c. grapes

.5 c Broccoli

1 c. Kale

1 tbsp Spirulina (this is what makes it black)

.75 c. Unsweetened almond milk

Additional water as needed to get desired consistency

Optional: sweetener (agave, brown rice syrup, stevia or splenda) The fruit in this smoothie has a lot of work to do to overcome the kale and broccoli and I find that adding just a little sweetener is perfect.

You end up with 2 servings of cruciferous vegetables, 3 servings of fruit and one hit of pow-pow-powerful sea green punch.

Nutrition Basics

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First of all, you are hereby sworn by the law of all blogging gods to never just say “Remember the Maine”.

You must instead exclaim emphatically, “Remember the Maine!!”

Second of all, this is a fancy drink. Somewhat obscure. Probably unknown to most people. That is not what makes it awesome (I will tell you what makes it awesome later) and you should be polite when or if you order this drink at a bar. Don’t order it when you’re in a run of the mill drinking establishment. Don’t order it when the bar is super busy. When you get to a fancy drinking establishment with serious craft bartenders, then by god it’s time to order. Even still, you should do so with a slight air of apology and acknowledgment that you are kind of being a little know-it-all snot.

Enough with the caveats.

Where I Had It

Beaker and Flask – Portland, Oregon. This little place is known for great drinks and skilled bartenders. After trying something off the menu I asked “Tim” to make me “something with bourbon or bourbon-like facsimile – something challenging.”

He came back 5 minutes later with Remember the Maine!

(I had the drink a few weeks later at a bar in Seattle called Barrio. Again, outstanding. Note: the bartender at Barrio knew the drink but did have to look it up. He was stoked to do it.)

Why I Love It

It’s a relative of the manhattan, which is a great place to start. Hello, delicious golden drink of the gods!

The combination of absinthe and cherry liquor creates a mysterious, chocolately overtone that is completely unexpected and utterly delightful. Smooth! So smooth. But no overly sweet.

It was – exactly as I’d requested – challenging, but in a really approachable way.

How to Make It

I learned long ago from Sal’s crazy Sicilian mother (Rose, if you’re reading this tell Fina I wrote “awesome Sicilian mother” ; ) that one should never settle for eating or drinking amazing things at restaurant. Instead, return home immediately and reverse engineer said amazing food. Serve it to your family and yell at them until they declare that it is better than the restaurant version.

Whereas Fina uses her masterful culinary skills to reverse engineer masterpieces, I use Google (after first not finding it in my Great American Bartender’s handbook which, apparently, isn’t so great).

I checked out recipes here, here, and here and settled on this version:

• 2 ounces rye whiskey
• 3/4 ounce sweet vermouth
• 2 teaspoons Cherry Heering
• 1/2 teaspoon absinthe or absinthe substitute
• Brandied cherry for garnish

Combine ingredients in an ice-filled mixing glass and stir briskly for 20 seconds. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a brandied cherry.

Special Considerations

I soon discovered that the brand of absinthe is a big factor. My version of Remember the Maine, though delicious, was different that Tim’s at Beaker and Flask.  (I still made Sal declare mine superior, however.) My recommendation would be to use what you got (or what you can put your hands on) and experiment from there. Something tells me that you won’t mind the research involved.

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Today’s Monster

1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk

1/2 cup Yogi Detox Tea (pre-made the night before, chilled)

8 frozen strawberries

1/2 banana

1/2 avocado

1/4 c. plain nonfat yogurt

1 handful fresh greens from the garden including microgreens

1/2 scoop Jay Robb strawberry banana protein powder

1 tsp Spirulina

1 tbsp Flax Oil

2 tbsp Carlsen’s Lemon Flavored Fish Oil

2 tbsp freshly ground flax seeds

Answers to FAQ

Yes, it does look like green/brown swamp death. The Spirulina makes ugliness a foregone conclusion.

Yes, actually, it does taste good.

Yes, I do add fish oil. It really does taste like lemon. (But Sal still can’t hack it.)

Yes, yes I am in love with my VitaMix. I know the law does not protect our love, but if being in love with VitaMix is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.

Read this if you’re curious why I dump so much fat in there.

Go here to watch a video on why I incorporate fish oil.

Go here to read about it instead.

Click here to see what I’d rather be eating.

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Like most people, I go through food phases.

Right now, I’m kind of over the big salads that were making me happy for the past few months. Yet I know that I’ve got to get those all-important greens and I’m really trying to stay up on my Omega-3′s and healthy fats.

Earlier this week, I had a lightbulb. I’ll drink my salad!

That sounds disgusting, right? Right. But, as a self-described Super Smoothie Ninja Master, I felt confident that I could make it taste good. A few weeks ago, POM Wonderful sent me a big box of pomegranate juice to sample and I was just dying to use it creatively in a blended beverage. I wagered it would do the trick – and it did.

(By the way, this Precision Nutrition article does a completely kick ass job of breaking down “super” shakes and their ingredients. It even has a chart. Hot damn, I do love a good chart.)

I present to you, the Super Food Slam: a filling and delightfully tasty smoothie chock-full of some of the healthiest foods out there.

The trick to this smoothie is finding balance. The fruit juices provide much-needed sweetness to offset the huge green spinach attack. (Normally, I don’t use fruit juices because of sugar content, but I feel like a little sugar is a small price to pay to make 5 cups of spinach taste like heaven.)

Did I say 5 cups of spinach? Yeah, I did.

Here’s our crew:

Not only is POM Wonderful good for you, it’s also very cute. Style counts, people! : )

Frozen fruit. I buy these at Trader Joe’s. What you can’t see is that the bottom of the container is filled exclusively with frozen blueberries.

Almonds. Or, as Sal says, “Ammans”

Ground Flax Seed. Yes, yes, yes. (You can nab these at my store if you can’t find them locally, but every health food store should have them – and most “normal” stores do too if they have an organic or “hippy” section. Look for Bob’s Red Mill. We love Bob!)

Spinach. Lots of it. Feel the Popeye-ness wash over you.

Orange Juice is used today as a sweetening agent along with the POM Wonderful.

Ingredient List (Makes 2):

3/4 cup Orange juice (can be any type of sweet juice)
4 oz POM Wonderful juice
1/2 cup Soy Milk (or almond milk or rice milk or… even cold green tea if you’ve got some!)
1 cup frozen blueberries
.5 -  .75 cups other frozen fruit of your choice (mango, raspberry, banana… all work!)
12 almonds
3 tablespoons ground flaxseed
5 cups spinach (you could also add a cup of kale if you want to level up!)

Optional:
1 serving Jay Robb Vanilla protein powder (I’m into protein, you don’t have to be.)

Pulverize the Crap Out of It:

Add to blender in order listed. I’ve had trouble blending nuts and leafy vegetables in normal blenders in the past so I finally gave in and dropped cash on a big Vita-Mix Blender last year. I’ve used it every day since and, as you can tell, I never shutup about it. Sorry. This was one of the first things I asked to have sourced for the Grit and Glimmer store, so excited was I to spread the pulverizing love to the entire planet.

With the Vita-Mix I find it’s easiest to blend all the other ingredients first then load the spinach in through the top hole. Get a good whirlpool going with a high-speed setting and then use the big, black VitaMix stick to press the spinach down into the blades.

When you’re done, you’ll have something that looks like a vegetable monster vomited in your blender. (I swear on all things holy – it tastes 100x better than it looks.)

Yum?

To enhance enjoyment, cajole your significant other into pouring the concoction into an elegant glass.
Don’t forget to force your significant other to smile.
Take a picture.
Say, “Look happy! You love the Super Slam!”
Art direction is fun.

Last but not least: Do not overfill your glass. It makes a mess.
Also, don’t let this drink sit around after you make it. All that lovely fiber in the spinach will cause it to separate if you do – which will make this ugly shake even uglier.

What Makes it Super:

From the PN article: “The Super Shake… is packed with good stuff like high-quality protein, fiber, good fats, antioxidants and more.”

But, for me, the super shake above is all about the anti-oxidants. Antioxidants do all kinds of nifty things like prevent heart disease and cancer, reduce blood pressure and slow the effects of aging. They protect the body from harmful, excess free radicals, sweeping them up before they can cause damage. Pomegranate, almonds, spinach and blueberries are all loaded with anti-oxidants and, if you sub in green tea as one of your liquid bases, you’re getting even more.

Almonds: (From the Mayo Clinic website) These tear-shaped nuts are packed with nutrients — fiber, riboflavin, magnesium, iron and calcium. In fact, almonds have more calcium than any other nut — 75 milligrams (mg) in one serving (about 23 almonds). Also, one serving of almonds provides half of your body’s Recommended Dietary Allowance (RDA) of vitamin E.

Like all nuts, almonds provide one of the best plant sources of protein. And they’re good for your heart. Most of the fat in almonds is monounsaturated fat — a healthier type of fat that may help lower blood cholesterol levels.

Blueberries: (From the Mayo Clinic website) Blueberries are a rich source of plant compounds (phytonutrients). As with cranberries, phytonutrients in blueberries may help prevent urinary tract infections. Blueberries may also improve short-term memory and promote healthy aging.

Blueberries are also a low-calorie source of fiber and vitamin C — 1 cup of fresh blueberries has 84 calories, 3.6 grams of fiber and 14 mg of vitamin C.

Spinach: (From the Mayo Clinic website) Spinach is high in vitamins A and C and folate. It’s also a good source of riboflavin, vitamin B-6, calcium, iron and magnesium. The plant compounds in spinach may boost your immune system and may help keep your hair and skin healthy.

Pomegranate: Pomegranate has quickly become one of the most talked about super foods in the past two years. Pomegranate fruits contain polyphenols, tannins and anthocyanins, which are all beneficial antioxidants. On the other hand, pomegranate juice contains high levels of antioxidants – higher than most other fruit juices, red wine or tea. Preliminary evidence suggested that drinking concentrated pomegranate juice may reduce cholesterol. It was further suggested that drinking a glass of pomegranate juice a day for one year reduced blood pressure (particularly systolic pressure) and slowed down low density lipoprotein or LDL cholesterol (the bad cholesterol) oxidation.

Flaxseed: (From Health Castle) Derived from the plant source, flax seed offers a vegetarian alternative to provide omega 3 fatty acid. Flax seed has been shown in many studies to offer heart-healthy benefits. In addition, flax seed also contain other beneficial ingredients such as fiber and lignan, a type of antioxidant phytoestrogen. Research revealed that lignan in flax seed shows promising results in fighting disease, particularly cancer. Studies show that lignan possesses anti-cancer properties. Results were most promising in breast cancer prevention.

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Dan Sharp has been with us at the 8th Street Owl House now for a few weeks. He climbs uphill very fast and makes a mean steak. We love him.

He also makes a pretty mind-blowing homemade energy bar. Upon tasting it, I held a kitchen knife to his gut and made him promise to show me all his secrets. Apparently he thought I was serious because he kindly obliged.

Sharp was inspired to make his own energy food after a ride through the London countryside during which his riding companion shared a delicious bar with him. He promptly returned to the states and reverse-engineered the deliciousness.

About the Recipe

The following is a “recipe” only in loose terms. Sharp cooks, as I often do, “by feel” – adding a handful of this or a squirt of that. For the purposes of this blog post, we attempted to measure everything in question, but you should know that you can experiment and everything will be ok.

A few more dates and your bars will be more moist.  A few more nuts and you will get something more like a dry granola bar.

Play until you find your special balance.

We also encourage you to play with ingredients. We’ve been keeping our eyes out as we shop in Tucson and have been inspired by things like dried fruits, spicy components and carob nibs. These haven’t made it into a batch yet, but I’m sure they will.

General Nutritionals

It’s hard to exactly quantify nutritional values for this recipe but I calculated general values:

Per bar:
230 calories
9g fat
40g carb
5g fiber
2.5g protein

How to Print

Use the “Print this page” link at the top right of this entry for a printer-friendly version sans photos.

Ingredients

• 1 cup oats
• 1 cup spelt flakes
• 1 T. malt
• 1 T powdered sugar
• 1.3 lb. medjool dates (best to have extra lying about for possible consistency adjustment – the dates are your primary binding agent)
• .5 cup pecan pieces raw
• .5 cup roasted/salted pecan pieces
• 1 cup large hazlenuts
• 3-5 T agave syrup (this is another consistency adjustment ingredient)
• .5 cup coconut flakes (this is optional, substitute with ingredient[s] of choice)

How it Works

-Preheat oven to 325-350. Ish.

-Spread the oats, spelt flakes, malt, and powdered sugar on a cookie sheet (here we are using a cake pan because, well, our vacation rental in Tucson doesn’t have a cookie sheet). Mix well.  Put the pan in the oven to toast (about 15 minutes or so, keep your eye on them).

-While they are toasting, cut the dates “smallish but not small”. This is a direct quote from DSharp. Observe the following photos with smallish but not small guidelines. He slices them in half, removes the pit, then slices them lengthwise, then he lines them up together and chops them into (smallish but not small) bits, psycho-killer style.

(Notes!!)

-Next we will chop nuts. (Don’t forget to keep an eye on your toasting oat mixture)

-Sharp uses a patented nut-mashing technique that he learned from his Pretty Lady (Ms. Tori Bortman of Gracie’s Wrench). Put nuts in plastic bag. Place bag on cutting board or other hard surface. Bash with rolling pin. You can do something less violent if you wish, just get the nuts into little pieces (but not TOO little), ok?

-Has it been 10-15 minutes? Go check your oats! They’re probably ready. Look – ours are!

(Headless oat man)

-Ok, where are we? Right. The nuts are chopped. Small but not too small:

The dates are all cut into smallish but not too small pieces (see, the box is empty – that’s proof!):

And our oat-spelt-malt-sugar mixture is all toasty:

-Time to mix. Add the nuts to the dates. Then at the oats to the dates and nuts. Then add the coconut. Got that?  Everything in the same bowl. Good!
-Now that your pan is empty again, clean it and then lube it up. I mean grease it. You can use PAM or butter or coconut oil or whatever you like. Just make sure you use something because you want these little guys to slip out nice and easy when all is said and done.

-Now comes the fun part. Knead everything together with your hands until it starts to form a lump. As you’re kneading, pay attention to consistency.
-Add agave syrup one tablespoon at a time until you’ve reached desired moisture levels.

-When the lump is well-formed, put it in your pan. If you’re using a cookie pan, you can put a sheet of wax paper on top and roll it out with a rolling pin. We didn’t have that luxury, so used our hands and then improvised and used a cutting board as a flat-smasher.

-The bars should be about 3/4 inch thick when you’re done.

“This looks perfect!”

-Put it in the oven at 325-350 for about 20 minutes. Keep your eye on it toward the end. They’ll emerge golden and toasty and crisp:

-Let cool, then cut into bar shapes. This particular recipe makes about 18 bars.
-Store in a dry location in zip-lock baggies. They’ll last for a good long while but I bet they won’t be around long enough for you to find out.

More notes: “Cut. Eat. Ride”
[Stick it to man.]
All good advice, mind you.

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Pearl barley and cheese collide in this decidedly healthy spin on a classic Italian comfort food. I’m not sure whether or not Sal’s mama would approve, but the pearl barley adds a springy, snappy texture that I find delightful. Besides, as Ryan Andrews explains at length in this super informative article over at the Precision Nutrition site, whole grains are the way to go, dude!

This serves about four. (More likely two big people and two smaller people.)

PS: You can now use the “print this page” button (top right) to get a printer-friendly version of recipes. I’ve disabled photos, so it will only include text.

Gather Ye Your Ingredients:

6 cups low-sodium vegetable or chicken stock*
2.5 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1 medium onion, diced
1 shallot, diced
1 cup sliced mushrooms
1/2 teaspoon thyme
1/2 cup wine
1 cup pearl barley
1 cup beans, canned or precooked (I used canneloni beans. Navy beans would be great and red beans would work, too)
3 cups chopped kale
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese, plus more for serving
2 tablespoons Brummel and Brown or butter-like product of your choice
Salt
Freshly ground pepper

*Low-sodium stock is recommended here not just for health benefits. Because this dish cooks for a long time and condenses starting with a full-salt stock will yield a super salty end result. If all you’ve got is regular stock, just dilute it a bit.

Make

1. In a large skillet, heat 2 tablespoons of the olive oil (save the rest for the mushrooms). Add onion, shallot and thyme and cook over medium heat until the onion is softened (about 7 minutes).
2. Add the barley and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes. Add the wine if using and cook, stirring until absorbed.
3. Add 1 cup of the stock and cook, stirring, until nearly absorbed.
4. Here’s where risotto gets annoying.  Continue adding the stock 1/2 cup at a time until you’ve used it all. Each time you add the stock, wait until it cooks down before adding the next.
5. While you’re dealing with the constant risotto absorption process, heat the remaining olive oil in a small skillet until shimmering and then add the sliced mushrooms. Cook on medium heat for about 5-7 minutes or until they are soft. I diced mine after cooking them but that was just a crazy hair. You can leave them slicey or get crazy dicey – your call.
6. When you’re done with the last of the stock in your risotto, add the beans and let them cook for a minute.
7. Add the kale and let it wilt. Cook for an additional minute or two.
8. Add the mushrooms and stir.
9. Stir in the 1/2 cup of cheese and the butter then season to taste with salt and pepper.
10. Serve! Make sure to provide more cheese at the table. Everyone loves cheese. For real.

Notes

• This reheats quite well. I used a pan on the stove with a bit of olive oil, but I bet it wouldn’t do badly in a microwave.
• Any hearty leafy green can be substituted for kale: try chard, spinach or escarole
• Experiment with other ingredients – this is hearty peasant food. Use what you have!

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Hunt and Gather this stuff:

• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 large onion, diced
• 1 small shallot, diced
• 1 1/2 pounds carrots, peeled and cut into 1-inch chunks
• 1-2 yellow squash in 1-inch slices
• 2 tablespoons Brummel and Brown (or butter or other butter substitute, whatever you fancy)
• 1 tablespoon agave syrup
• 5 large garlic cloves, chopped
• 2-3 tablespoons curry powder
• 3 cups chicken broth
• 1 to 1 1/2 cups nonfat milk
• Salt and pepper to taste

Then do this:

1. Add oil to large saute pan and heat (med-high) until it becomes aromatic and shimmers a little.
2. Add carrots, onions, squash, shallots and saute, stirring occasionally 8-10 minutes
3. Reduce heat to low.
4. Add garlic, Brummel and Brown, and agave syrup.
5. Cook for another 10 minutes.
6. Add curry powder, saute 30 seconds to a minute.
7. Add broth and bring to simmer (med-high heat)
8. Reduce to low and simmer until carrots are tender (10 minutes or so)
9. Transfer to blender (in batches if necessary) and puree until smooth.
10. Transfer to sauce pan and add milk until soup is desired consistency.
11. Heat through and serve.

Recipe Notes

• You can modify this recipe to include whatever vegetables are on their last legs in your fridge. Zucchini, broccoli, parsnips, turnips, etc.  When I’m feeling extra healthy I’ll throw a cup or two of spinach leaves in at the end of puree-ing (my VitaMix pulverizes them easily, see below) to add some super green power to the mix. They do a great job of “hiding” and hardly make a difference in taste.
• I use my VitaMix blender to puree this recipe. In fact, I never made pureed soups before I finally dropped cash on the VitaMix because I found puree-ing in batches to be the single most annoying and tedious task I could imagine. Also, traditional blenders always seemed to make a mess and/or burn the crap out of me. The VitaMix has a nice slow speed to start with, which makes it safe and easy to use. The container itself is huge so I usually do not have to do soups in batches.  Lastly, the VitaMix actually heats food up if you let it run long enough (the motor is that powerful), so I skip the step of returning the soup to the saucepan and instead let the VitaMix do the heating after adding the milk.
• If you don’t have curry powder, don’t worry – you can easily make your own. In fact, I didn’t even know curry powder in it’s “off the shelf” variety existed until a few years ago.  Curry powder is a mix of a number of spices including things like: corriander, saffron, cumin, mustard seed, crushed red pepper, poppy seed, cinnamon, tumeric, black peppercorn, coriander, cloves, cardamom, nutmeg, bay leaves, onion powder, ginger powder, fennel pepper, fenugreek seeds, etc.  Which spices are used depends on the kind of curry but if you’ve got the basics (cumin, coriander, tumeric, cinnamon, pepper) you can almost always whip up a quick curry powder at home. Just do a quick internet search for curry powder recipes and you’re off.

Pair with one of these?

• Spiced Cauliflower Saute
• Super Simple Claypot Roasted Chicken

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Some of you have mentioned that you have a hard time copy-pasting these into word so that you can print them. First of all, thanks for the feedback! I’m working on a better solution for printing from this site. In the meantime, I’ve created PDFs of both recipes that you can download and print:

Click here to download PDF of Pecan Crusted Salmon
Click here to download PDF of Roasty Toasty Kale

Pecan-Crusted Salmon and Roasty Toasty Kale at your fingertips! (Jump to the original posts or read them below.)

*

Roasty Toasty Kale

(Originally posted May 2009)

Yesterday’s kale post opened my eyes to the bountiful Kale Love that exists in the world. I was so happy that I spent the day in a sundress skipping through overexposed kale fields with white light wrapping around me, singing kale songs.

Then I came home and found two sweet recommendations.

The Hen Waller (a great blog by friend, talented designer, and chicken expert Patrick) came out swinging with a link (via Twitter – follow me, it’s fun!) to this fantastic Savory Bread Pudding with Winter Greens recipe.

The recipe called for roasting the kale, which got me thinking…

Cue to long-time blog reader Michael (aka MtMann) dropping his favorite roasting method into the comments.

That was the tipping point. I had to try it. I literally walked away from the computer straight into the kitchen and starting cutting my kale into strips. The result? Unreal. Really. I don’t know how else to put it.

A little crispy. Nice and light. An excellent earthy, roasted flavor.

I shot off a string of photos and then ate the whole batch.

Here’s how I did it:

1. Cut kale into very narrow strips (almost shredded).
2. Toss with 1tbsp olive oil to coat.
3. Spread evenly over a baking sheet and put into an oven that it pre-heated to 375.
4. After about 5 minutes (keep your eye on them, they’ll begin to wilt a little) remove, turn all the greens over and return to oven.
5. Roast for another 5-7 minutes just until it starts to get a little crispy.
6. Toss with sea salt (I used my favorite Oak-Smoked Chardonnay Sea-Salt because I am all about the sea-salt trend, yo)
7. Enjoy!

Super easy, stupid-simple and seriously savory. This is going to become a regular snack around here for sure.

As scary-good as kale is for your health, you should give it a shot, too. You may even be able to convert some non-believers.

Pecan-Crusted Salmon

(Originally posted September 2008)

I’m not a huge fan of cooked salmon.  Raw?  Yes.  Give it to me raw all day long, baby.  Cooked is a different story.

This has partially to do with my stint as a line worker in a fish-processing plant at the age of 17. That’s a story for another time, because this particular blog entry is meant to be about something appetizing and delicious.

Back to cooked salmon.  I don’t like the color, I’m not a particularly huge fan of the flakey texture, and, well, it’s a pretty strong flavor.  On a day when I am really into it, it’s great – but it can be very hit or miss.  Also, I like to  cook it on the grill outside with a little lemon, dill and other herbs.  This is fun but doesn’t really work for those nights when I need a quick 5-minute meal fix.

Last week, I made a pecan-crusted version that knocked our socks off.  And it literally took about 10 minutes.

Here’s how it goes:

1. Pat the salmon filets dry.  Pat pat pat.  No soggy filets, ya hear!?
2. In food processor or your food pulverizing apparatus of choice, grind up a bunch of pecans.  How many?  I don’t know, eyeball it, 1/2 cup?  a cup?  Somewhere between there – it depends on how much salmon you’re dealing with. You’ll figure it out. Add some salt and pepper to the resulting nut-meal.
3. Brush filets with olive oil.
4. Coat filets with pecan powder/chunks.
5. Put in George Foreman grill (or reasonable facsimile) for 5 minutes.
6. Serve on a bed of fresh greens and mangia like yer mama taught you.

Of course, there are a million variations you could do to this recipe.  I made it again but we were out of pecans so I used walnuts.  Just as good.

“But this is high in fat!” you are crying out.

Oh stop.  Salmon is loaded with super-healthy Omega-3 fatty acids that you can get from very few other sources.  Nuts are also great sources of healthy fats.  Don’t eat this every night, eat it once a week. Be a smarty. Remember your fresh, leafy greens.

Yum yum pop!

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Don’t kid yourself. It is. It’s really f-ing boring.

But it can be fun and sexy just like all the other meats -it just needs to dress better and make an effort, ya know?

When I’m feeling bummed out about Chicken’s girl-next-door ho-hum-ness, I invoke a good marinade. Marinades are simple, easy, and don’t actually require that much forethought. An hour in a good marinade can be plenty.

These are two of my favorite go-to chicken-soakers.

Teriyaki!

Teriyaki marinade is kind of a “no-duh”.  Sugar+Salt=YES.  You can mess with proportions and ingredients as much as you like – as long as you have the soy sauce and something sweet in there, it’s gonna be good:

• 1/4 cup sherry, dry cooking wine, or whatever is already open (really)
• 1/4 cup soy sauce (reduced sodium if you love yourself)
• 1/4 cup cooking oil (or not, it’s up to you – I’ve found it’s not essential, but it leads to slightly jucier meats)
• 3-4 garlic gloves
• 1 inch piece of fresh ginger, peeled or 1 tspn ground ginger
• 2 tbsp. mollases – or – 2 tbsp brown sugar – or – 2 tbsp agave syrup (or some combination, or white sugar – really you just need something sweet)

Throw this stuff into a food processor or a powerful blender (The Holy VitaMix gets this done FAST and thoroughly) and emulsify.

Marinade for 1 -1.5 hours (or overnight) and then cook to your heart’s content.

Citrus Ginger!

When I’m going for something less sweet and more bright, this is what I usually use.

• 1/2 c. orange juice
• 1/2 c. lemon juice
• 1.2 tspn dried sage or several leaves fresh
• 1.5 inch fresh ginger, peeled
• 1 tbsp. soy sauce
• 3 cloves garlic
• Splash of Tabasco

Same deal. Combine in food pulverizing device of your choice and blend into yummy liquid/paste.  Marinade for 1-2 hours and get to it. (I’ve let this marinade sit overnight before and I found the citrus to be too strong. Just sayin’)

Now, go and put some spice back into your lackluster chicken life!

Coming soon: Yogurt based marinades – so delicious!!!

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Chicken Larb!

Larb is one of my favorite dishes in the wide world. It’s a type of Lao “meat salad” that I first encountered in Thai restaurants. The taste is fresh, bright and explosive – and the nutritional profile is a number one stunner. When made with boneless, skinless chicken breast it contains almost no fat, very little carbs and 17 million flavor watts. It’s truly a guilt-free meal that feels like indulgence. It’s also fun. And I love fun.

You can make larb with pork, tofu (it’s great with tofu!), or chicken. It can also be made with duck, turkey, beef or fish (though I’ve not tried those varieties). So, when you’ve got protein laying around, Larb is a kick-ass option for giving it new life. I’ve made Larb twice in Arizona and both times I used leftover meat that we had grilled the day before for another meal.

Finally, Larb is easy. Stupid easy. Crazy easy.

Chicken Larb

Ingredients:

• 1 Lb Boneless, skinless chicken (minced in a food processor – I used my VitaMix cuz it’s all I have here, yo)
• 1/2 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 tablespoon roasted rice powder (you can grab this in Asian markets or you can make your own by roasting raw rice in a dry skillet till brown and then mashifying in a spice grinder)
• 4 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
• 2 spring onions, chopped
• 2 tablespoons chopped shallots
• 4 tablespoons chopped mint leaves
• 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 2 tablespoons lime juice
• 1 1/2 tablespoons fish sauce
• 1 teaspoon garlic paste
• 8-10 big, sexy leaves of butter lettuce (cabbage is a nice option, too)

Game Plan:

1. Heat skillet over medium heat. Use a little olive oil on a brush to non-stick-ize the pan if your pan is not naturally non-stickized. When the oil is fragrant…
2. Add chicken and stir until cooked through
3. Remove from the heat, drain the excess liquid.
4. Add fish sauce and lime juice.
5. Toss together with cilantro, onion, shallots, mint, cayenne, rice powder, and garlic paste.
6. Arrange lettuce leaves on plate like cute little cups.
7. Fill cute cups with your Larb of Amazingness
8. Devour like rabid coyotes.

*Check out the variations, substitutions, and creative interpretations below for more ideas.

Variations, Substitutions and Creative Interpretations

Traditionalists will kill me for this section, but I don’t care. Cooking is about having the basic skills and know-how to use what you have in your kitchen to make yourself something delicious. Sometimes you don’t have fresh onions. Sometimes you’re missing mint. It’s ok. I swear to god. It will be ok. You gotta learn not to freak out. You gotta learn to roll with it.

• You cannot make this recipe without the fish sauce. Other than that, things get pretty flexible. Many would argue that the lime is essential, but I’m even flexible there…
• VEGGIFY: This is great with tofu. I slice my tofu into pieces and sear them over a lightly oiled skillet before chopping it up to mix with the other ingredients. I enjoy a slightly crispy golden “edge” to my tofu.
• In a pinch, don’t worry if you don’t have the rice powder. Each ingredient in this recipe is there for a reason but I assure you, you will still have a delicious meal on your hands if you are forced to leave one or two out.
• I’ve occasionally left the mint out. It definitely loses something but, again, still good.
• Fish sauce – be careful with your measurement there: that stuff is loaded with sodium.
• No limes? I HATE when I run out of limes. I suppose a lemon would work in a pinch. You need something citrusy and bright. Don’t freak out.
• Meat: Cooking your meat fresh and mixing the sauce into it definitely yields the best flavor, but if you’ve got already cooked meat in your fridge go ahead and use it. I chop the crap out of mine with a sharp, motorized food-destroying type machine like a processor or vitamix.  Then I just start the recipe at #4.
• No butter leaf lettuce or other cup-like leaf? Try it as a regular salad over spinach leaves. Still feels special though loses a little fun factor.
• Need carbs? Last night I made pork larb but we’d had a big workout and needed to throw some carbs in the mix. I cooked up a few servings of soba (buckwheat) noodles and presented them, cold, in the larb construction zone. I simply added some soba to each of my larb boats and easily got a full serving of delicious, healthy buckwheat lovin’. It was great. I could see rice noodles being even better, though less healthy.

Nutrition

I didn’t run exact calculations for this, but chicken larb made with boneless, skinless breasts clocks in at somewhere around 200 calories. No, really, just 200. It’s just 4 or 5 oz of chicken breast with a bunch of veggies/herbs and a few pieces of lettuce. Now, that’s some flavor bang for your buck!  Adding a serving of soba offered 190 or so more calories, for a pretty well-rounded meal.

As I mentioned earlier, watch the sodium content in this recipe – the fish sauce is a kicker.

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