Daddy smelled like fish. That was the fact of it. He reeked of 15 million pounds of salmon – the ocean dumped out and left to warm and rot on the floor of the processing plant. He worked on the docks of Seattle, processing the shiny, glimmering corpse-bodies until they were racked in tidy filets, [...]
Continue ReadingMy Father Crushed my Hand – A Father’s Day Post
It happened when I was about seven. Thanksgiving Day. I remember clearly. We were out in the garage mashing aluminum cans because as an enterprising young whipper-snapper I’d noticed that the junk man’s aluminum price had recently sky-rocketed. I was preparing the final batch in what would be my most epic aluminum can delivery. Sure [...]
Continue ReadingHappy Mother’s Day: Glimmers for Mary
Today is a double-whammy. My mother’s birthday and the holiest of all Hallmark Holidays – Mother’s Day. More often than not, it seems, the two fall on the same day. It’s unfortunate for my mom – like the kids who have to share their birthday with Christmas. In theory, everything should be twice as good [...]
Continue ReadingA Great Shattering: Fat Cat vs. The Pinarello
Lofts are hard to live in. Don’t let anyone fool you. Big open spaces with free-flowing floor plans and no walls sounds really fucking cool in a tree-house kind of way. And – to be honest – it sort of is. But the hipster-modern factor definitely has its drawbacks. Which is why I spent the [...]
Continue ReadingSmells like Christmas Spirit
It didn’t snow. The woman who answered the phone when I called to book our room at the Aster Inn was kind enough to give me her account of the situation: “There’ll be a little white on the ground for you when you get here, honey – but we haven’t had a flake fall down [...]
Continue ReadingWorld Domination from a Banana Seat
… From last year’s Christmas column in the Oregonian. Christmas, 1985. I tear into a shiny metallic package from Santa Claus to reveal a long-coveted toy: a motorcycle noise-maker for my bicycle. I beg my father to install it immediately and then sit on my hot pink banana seat in the garage revving my new [...]
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