Hottie for a Day

You know when you wake up and you are having one of those days? One of those days when you are just flat-out feeling UGLY.

There’s no getting over it. There’s no convincing yourself. Your self-confidence is in the shitter so you put on your most inconspicuous outfit and hope you’ll blend in with whatever backdrop you find yourself in front of. You put your head down and get through the day and hope that you can remember how to love yourself overnight.

Yeah.

I am NOT having one of those days.

I am having the exact opposite kind of day.

The kind of day when I wake up and put on a micro-mini with big boots and a tank top. I am not going anywhere at all. I will probably not even leave the house. I have shitloads of work and writing to do.

I’m not even going to shower.
I’m not going to do my hair.
I won’t even put any makeup on.

But I am wearing a micro-mini with big-assed boots. There’s a swagger in my step.

I’ll be honest.
I would almost never wear a skirt like this out in public.

But today I feel hot so everyone can deal with it.

I looked in the mirror this morning when I got out of bed and saw myself standing there in my black boyshort underwear with the lace edges. I looked at myself and saw somethng astounding. Something I have never. seen. before.

I am getting a two-pack.

I
am
getting
an
effing
two
pack.

I’ve had the vertical line down the middle for a few months now but I was not sure I would be able to produce those little horizontal ridges required to beginning the forming of any sort of pack.

The top two are there.

It’s a miracle.

So, in the spirit of balance and happiness I went with Sam to the local breakfast place and downed biscuits and gravy with two eggs, over medium.

And then I went home and put on a micro-mini.

And boots.

Booyah.

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One comment

  1. Nice writing!

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