Ironing Boards (Flat-Chested Women Unite!)

Yesterday, within the span of two hours I heard that two different women that I know (totally unrelated) have opted to get breast enhancement surgery. To be honest, these are probably the first women that I’ve ever actually known who have opted for the knife.

Now, I’m not here to judge anyone but, being the loudmouthed, outspoken advocate of Tiny Titties that I am, I can’t help but at least put in my two cents. The last time I can remember truly lamenting the small nature of my rack I was in middle school. It was torture as the cool girls sprouted huge, round, squishy boobs and I stood by, the perpetual ironing board.

Luckily, in high school I had the good fortune to rove with a band of gangly, skinny, flat-chested distance runners. Together we admired our streamlined silhouettes in the locker room mirrors, praising god for such blessed aerodynamicism. (I know that’s not a word. Deal.)

We dubbed ourselves the ironing board crew and occasionally loaned our somewhat unnecessary sports bras to the “bigger” girls when they forgot theirs. We dictated our own standard in which athleticism trumped sexuality and action was valued more highly than objectification.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love all you curvy ladies. But we’re not here to defend the C’s and D’s today. We’re here to stand in staunch support of the A and B cups of the world. Flat-chested women of the world, unite. Join me on the Ironing Board Crew as we spread A-cup love throughout the planet.

My girls are small, pert, firm and perky. Just the way I like ‘em. They leave my back in peace and stay clear out of the way when I headfirst dive into an ugly play at third base.

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58 comments

  1. Ah, I’m so glad I’ve never felt inadequate in this area. It just never occurred to me. Of course, part of that may be because they’ve always been pretty proportion to the rest of my body (petite 5’2″), so they’ve always just felt the right size. Regardless, I like to think no matter how small they were, I would never have such a horrible thing done to my precious body. Geez, I think it’s insane.

    The real deal isn’t about boobies, but the brain, attitude :) Kinda cool when a guy tells ya’ he “got there” just by hugging ya’ :)

    A mega-breasted blonde co-worker once asked me if I were going to have plastic surgery what would I opt for? I’m sure she thought it would be a boob-job. I just grinned with confidence and said, “Hmm, I thought about a nose job once for about a nano-second — but I’d never do it. And you?” :)

    And I never reference ‘em as small, they’re fab-uh-lous, the perfect size, lacking in nothing … they have feelings ya’ know, and talking nice to them pumps them up, hehe ;)

  2. To all the Women of the world who THINK they are to small, you are wrong in my book. I believe there many more men like myself who are not attracked to jumbo sized mammaries that will or do hang down to their knees. After reading some articles on why men like perky smaller sized breasts, I must say that is in no way a reference to being gay.

    I have found that there is a power at large that seems to make guys, myself included, look at a large chested woman. I do not know why and it does not get me going in the least. Show me a small breasted woman wearing a top that shows her neck down to her navel and I will stand at attention.

    The media has created a vision of a woman that very few ladies will ever live up to. Why not create a new type of sexy woman that includes all body styles?

    If mens thoughts were really known, I doubt that ALL men like women with big boobs. I start with her face, then her mind, on to her personality, and finally how she feels about herself. That is what is really sexy about a woman in my opinion.

  3. I am a proud (most of the time) flat chested woman and I love this blog!!! We are so lucky in sooo many aspects, most of them you have already mentioned. I was thinking about it the other day as I was lying in bed. I like to sleep on my stomach and I couldn’t imagine trying to do that with large breasts, I think it would be sooo uncomfortable. Lol that alone would keep me from getting augmentation! Rock on flat chested girls! When we are 60 our boobs will still be perky and all those big chested ladies will be picking theres up off the floor!!! And it’s a plus that when I’m making love to my husband I don’t have to worry about giving him a black eye with some big honkers :D

  4. I’m so glad that I found this blog! Almost every friend I have was either born with big boobs or are opting to go under the knife to get them. I sometimes get sucked into that mind set that I need them too (even though my husband is perfectly content with them and it helps that he’s an ass man). It good to hear that other women with small chests are content and proud with what they have. Not to mention all the positive features of NOT having large boobs. After nursing two children they are still perky and being a runner, it is a definate plus that my boobs don’t get in the way. I have an athletic build and I don’t think I would look right with a huge rack. Thanks for the reassurance of being proud of what I naturally have.

  5. LOL…As another boobage-challenged girl, I loved this post. The only time I’ve ever flirted with C-cupdom was when I was (ugh!) 30 lbs overweight. My natural state is somewhere in the A 1/2 territory, and that is just fine by me. I have NEVER wanted any more chest than I’ve been naturally given, and I agree that excessive frontal fluff just gets in the way and causes back issues.

    I’d rather be lean, strong, and able to get by with a basic $10 sports bra than well-endowed and forced to shell out $40-$50 for the industrial-strength, German-engineered, motion-control Shock Absorber models needed to keep 10+ lbs of gristle or silicone from bouncing around painfully when I work out.

    Besides, if I invest the $5000 that a cheap breast augmentation would cost in a Roth IRA now at an average annual return of 8%, in 30 years when I am ready to retire that investment would be worth $50313.28.

    And at age 62, I think I’d rather have $50313.28 than an artificial rack! ;)

  6. I just happened upon this blog, and I’m thrilled to hear about women who aren’t obsessed with huge breasts. I have always been a fan of the long-distance-runner-type bodies. I have theorized in the past that the preference of either large or small has something to do with being breastfed, but I have no empirical evidence. Alas, I just love small ones. Flat-chested women can just throw on a t-shirt and jeans and run out of the house, and that’s a huge plus in my book.

    So, please be content with what you have and don’t let some surgeon with a Porsche payment ruin something so beautiful.

    KEEP UP THE FIGHT!!

  7. Shimmersheryl

    Voila! I never knew there were so many people pro – flat chested women. I always thought that its the most disgraceful thing that could happen to a girl, but boy am I glad that’s its the other way round.. I have till today always felt shameful of the fact that I’m flat chested. But after reading these comments, I am feeling better… I guess I need to just break out of the stereotyped perception that buxom babes are more sexy than the lesser/ least endowed…
    Cheers to us!!!!

  8. What a great blog! I too am totally, and I mean totally, flat – 34-AA at best, so nothing more than nipples. Luckily I got a great husband who is turned ON by flat women! Although I’d never get implants I do wear gel falsies in my bras to make me a 34-B. I wish there was more on the internet about flat women. Anyway, great site / blog!

  9. Finally, something positive about flat chested women! Thanks for writing this blog!
    I must admit, I prefer to go free and bra-less when at home but I need to wear a bra when I go out because I feel embarrassed with permanently erect nipples showing under t-shirts, etc.

  10. I absolutely LOVE flat-chested women. It’s just a preference. Nothing bigger than an A Cup, or possibly a VERY small B cup, though… If there are any women like this out there in the Northern Virginia area, that can tolerate a guy that loves small boobs, let me know…

  11. richard pearson

    smaller is bigger, i love small boobies, all boobies are great, epecially because i dont like the saggy look, small boobs on slim girls rule.

  12. Large breasts are unattractive and certainly seem to get in the way of everyday life. Small breasts are much more beautiful, IMHO. I definitely prefer the “athletic-look” in my women.

    Personally, I’m a guy that prefers women to in fact wear something to prevent the showing of nipples in public. Don’t get me wrong, I love nipples. I just (a) don’t like to share women with the world; (b) don’t like to be teased; (c) and don’t want that kind of distraction in public. :D Honestly, the same can be said for trying not to show a bra through your shirt… Again, it’s hot, but it’s not something I need to see passing you by on the street.

  13. I am a (very!) flat-chested runner in search of a great padded sports bra that will actually maintain its shape since my own anatomy is unable to! I am tired of looking down to see I have an indent in my sports bra and having to discreetly pop it out to its original form! Has anyone found a great sports bra that either has silicone or water in it and yet still maintains a fairly small chest size? I don’t want to look huge (I love the small athletic look as well) but I would like my chest to stick out farther than my ribs as is the case if I were to were a non-padded sports bra!!

  14. You don’t know how I have wished to know or befriend someone who wasn’t stacked. There is no such woman in my world! I watch women and not their faces because I’m so jealous. I know there is back problems, and I do have a wonderful husband, but dang, sometimes I would like to know what it is like not to feel like a nine year old girl because I really didn’t develope. I have a twin sister who has a beautiful body including breasts (and boy did she let me know it when we were in high school). I have thought seriously about going under the knife especially with my breast bone sticking out like it does, pushing what I do have nearly to the sides of my chest! And nipples! No ariola to speak of, just marshmellow shaped and sticking straight out almost like baby bottle nipples! Ugh! You should see the nurses reactions when I nursed my babies and when I get a mamagram (ouch).
    Okay, I have vented. Feel the same, glad I have had no surgery, but sometimes… I would like to wear a normal bra and not the stuffed ones my sister laughed at me about. Can’t even share intimate things with her, oh there I go on again onto my soap box. All three of my sisters are loaded. I’m done now…take care you all, you have made me feel better. I read everything once in a while to get me back to liking myself again. Like my husband has said, “I didn’t marry you for your chest, I married you for you.” I do love that man!!

  15. I already had D-cup-boobs in the ninth grade, and other girls used to stare at them in the showers in gym class. There were even a few girls who would sneak up from behind me and reach around and grab them and lift them up as the other girls laughed. I hatted how big mine were. But there were a couple of other girls in my gym class that were very flat chested who got teased for having such small breasts, and they would tell me that I was lucky. I guess the grass is always greener? I wish that maybe I had had B or C-cup boobs at the time. That probably would have been about perfect for that age.

  16. Oh, I am glad to find other girls like me!
    I have never felt like a woman and find it hard to engage with men in certain *ahem* activities and I feel I can’t wear a bikini. Last summer I went on holiday with my cousin who was 15, yet a double d. My sister who is a big B, aged 16. Then there was my friend who is absolutely massive and my age…except I’m a little old A. I felt INCREDIBLY unattractive. I don’t get what happened, most women in our family have big boobs…I guess I just fell out of the ugly tree…
    I have often dabbled with the idea of surgery, but I don’t want to be perceieved as vain because I am not. I have felt ugly all my life and when I finally got my first boyfriend at 14, he teased me and said I should “be grateful” that he was with me, seeing as we had the “same size chest” [sad, but true]…it didn’t help when he went off with a huge boobed girl that happened to be my best friend at the time.

    What does everyone think of surgery?
    I only want a b cup.

  17. I think surgery is something you should do, IF you really believe that will help you feel better about yourself. Everyone feels better about themselves in different ways. It’s not wrong to want enhancement surgery, but be careful in your reasons to do it. First of all, you have to get your implants replaced every 10-15 years. So even if you want to pretend their real, people close to you are going to know when you are in your 40′s and 50′s with perkier boobs than you had the month before.

    And I do agree, its SOOOOOO hard when you are filled in a world of the well endowed. I’m not endowed. I used to absolutely hate it. I would only shop for push up or padded bras. But the thing is, I’m not ever going to get breast implants. With the rise of breast cancer (and knowing that implants make it harder to detect these breast cancer lumps) size just isn’t THAT important to me– in the grand scheme of things.

    I also figured that since I’m never get implants, my padded bras are false advertising, which can be detrimental to my self-esteem if a guy is disappointed when he sees the real deal. So I’ve embraced my boyish figure.

    I’m just happy to be health and beautiful.

    Boobs, shmoobs.

  18. I’m nearly 18, 5’7, small waist, good legs (so i’m told) and practically flat chested – and i have never ever felt like a real woman, i feel as if i’ve failed on that front.

    i feel that im not in proportion – yes having a flat chest looks fine when you have the frame, like keira knightley or kate hudson but without it i feel embarassed and ashamed.

    i’m 100% for surgery, i’ve even spoken to the harley medical guys and i’m booking a consultation for when i’m 18. everyone has hangups but when it stops you from going outside, getting close to a boy, having a self esteem – thats when you need to do something about it. when you feel insecure you can’t help but compare yourself to other girls, especially on the beach.

    i’ve struggled with having no self esteem for years, been to doctors, councelling and no matter what people tell me, i won’t believe them.

    i know men say they prefer smaller chests and so on but when you’re 18 and you’re going out, meeting boys, they take one look at a small chest and run. and i can’t wait till i’m old enough to find an actuall man who doesnt care!!! i swear at this rate i’ll still be a lonely old woman at the age of 50 surrounded by cats.

    surgery shouldn’t be frowned upon if it’s being done for the right reasons – if it makes you feel good then go for it. i know i will, ive become so keen on it i’ve worked out all the finances and how to pay it!! my mum will have a fit when she finds out though….

  19. Well today i went to the doctors as i am so hung up on the fact that i am still flat chested, i keep going back and forth with the idea of breast surgery as i feel like i would gain confidence again if i had a bigger chest but never the less its great to see people who are confident with having small or no breasts at all as its natural and i just wish i could feel the same but im constantly surrounded by friends who have perfect or huge chests and it makes me feel insecure as i am the only one with a flat chest.

    Im still having doubts about the surgery so it helps when i know i am not the only ine having this problem as there are other women, confident women, that are flat chested and proud.

  20. I’m proud of how many people here are attracted and contented with small breasts. I’m flat chested too! I’ve been made fun of by other people, especially women about the size of my breasts, but I never really got offended at all. I don’t care what they say, a woman doesn’t have to be endowed with enormously huge breasts in order to be called hot or sexy. Who says it’s all about being hot and sexy anyway? I think what’s really important is that you have bigger brains and an even bigger heart to be truly called hot and sexy. Plus, I love the fact that I can wear a variety of tops and not worry if they would fit me or not. And if I ever forget to bring my sports bra, I wouldn’t really have to worry cuz I don’t really need it, I can just wear my regular one.

    So, if you’re flat-chested, be proud, you’re as gorgeous as those big-breasted women out there, probably even more.

    More power to flat-chested women and the men who love us!!!

  21. Wants to feel NORMAL

    I have to say that I am not proud to be flat chested.. I’ve always been ashamed of it and I probably always will be. I am opting for breast surgery, however I will stay small. I would like a full B cup. I know it’s a lot of money to spend, especially on such a small size, but I have such a hard time looking at myself in the mirror and being happy with what I see. I am 25 years old and I’m not at all petite. I’ve tried to make myself feel normal by searching for other flat chested women, but seems like all of you girls are sooo tiny! I am 5’11″ and I am a thick woman. I’m not fat, just thick… I can’t even wear the Platex “barely A” bra’s.. I don’t have enough to even fill those. What really bothers me is that all the women in my family are C cup or larger. I became pregnant in early 2007 and gave birth to my gorgeous son New Years Eve of 2007 but my breasts didn’t BUDGE in size. I hoped with breastfeeding maybe they would atleast become an A cup… but I had to move to formula because I wasn’t producing breastmilk.
    What the hell is wrong with my body?
    My husband loves me for who I am and says my body is just fine, I am lucky to have found such a great man who doesn’t care about the size of my tits. However, I still don’t feel normal.
    If any WOMEN read this post and are in the same boat as I am, by which I mean tall and heavy with boobs so small they don’t even fit in a barely A bra, please email me to let me know I am not the only one. I’d prefer men not to email me and make comments, even positive ones. I just want to know of another tall and thick woman with no breasts what so ever. Please email me at KHalbritter@hotmail.com

  22. My breasts are small. Barely a B cup. I have found myself wanting a bustier look, envying the big bouncy bosoms on the swimsuit models, but lately I something. My breasts have served me well, they serve as a magnificent erogenous zone, fit nicely into cute summer clothes and most importantly of all, they have successfully fed two children for the first year of their lives, and isn’t that what they are for in the first place? My point is, they’ve done their job and have never let me down. So, instead of hating them or wishing them bigger, I am trying hard to respect them, be thankful for them and accept them as part of what makes me, me. I am, after all, a flat-chested gal and there is no reason I should want to be what I am not. Breasts (or noses or butts or anything else for that matter) do not make you WHO you are, they are simply a small part of WHAT you are, and to go to extreme and even dangerous lengths to change that simply for the sake of vanity seems a bit silly in the grand scheme of things… to me anyway.

  23. virginia

    yes…i have been feeling down about my boobs lately, but your post has given me some of my confidence back. lets all spread the word, ALL natural boobs are wonderful. and big breasted girls stop saying i have no boobs, its mean, would never say your boobs are too big (unless they’re fake)

  24. Thank god there are people out there who dont think the biggens is best! Seriousely, my theory on why people are into big boobs is simply because thats what theyre told id sexy, and just dont conciousely make the descision themself. Small is sexy, natural is exotic, big is bad! haha

    Girls, be happy with who you are. You should be greatful because as women, you are constantly being harrassed by men, and this is simply a filter, to help sift through the people that are only interested in breasts.

    and for those who are inking about getting breast augmentation: do a little research, and take a look at some boob jobs out there. A lot of times surgery leaves nasty scars, makes your breasts misformed and weird shaped, and very often times googley eyed! Just look at Celia in ‘Weeds’! yuk!

  25. I LOVE small boobs! 26 year old dude. Throwing my two cents in to this mainly female conversation. Big old floppy nasty is NOT what I’m into. Cheers to the A cups!!!

  26. Alexis

    i have got the same problem :a flat board with two raisins..i was a gymnast before this..i’m thin but somehow, i lacked even a hint of roundness that could have been mistaken for as a boy’s body!after reading this post,i am feeling better about my non-existent breast.. currently, i’m doing a natural breast enhancement with herbs:)

  27. Raise your hand if you´ve ever walked into Gilly Hicks and then feeling really frustrated when you see really cute, sexy bras that would make as Katy Perry says them “popsicles melt”, but you feel like you can´t wear them because your boobs just get buried underneath all that satin and lace? I´ve been there more times than I can count. So here´s a shout out to all the women out there who are flat chested like me. I completely understand why being flat chested can sometimes make us feel like we aren´t “worthy” of being called women. Which is total bullshit! But I´ve felt that way many a times and I sadly, I still do occasionally, especially when I see a really cute halter dress that that I would kill to wear but that would just make me look like a twizzler. I´m 19 and I BARELY make it to an A-cup, and I´m 5´8, and the funny thing is that I´m not really that skinny. I´m just in between. I store all my junk in my trunk, not my front, so I´m hoping that the next guy I date will be more into the bum than the boobs. But why am I letting this get to me? Women of the world who are less endowed, do not fret! Have small boobs is an advantage, not a curse as it deceptively seems to be. We can get away with wearing a hell of a lot more racy outfits and not looking skanky, no need to pick them up off the floor as we reach our 70s, and it´s also easier to detect breast cancer as quite frankly, there isn´t that much flesh to disguise it. So ladies, be proud and own it. Men love confidence. People love confidence. BE confident, you know that you´re smart, talented, gorgeous inside and out. And next time you see a chick who could use a crane to lift up her boobs as she walks, just remember that you´re just as sexy, if not waaaaay more. :)

  28. My wife is absolutely GORGEOUS, tall, slim, late 40′s, and flat as a board – she doesn’t even have the beginnings of boobs and never has. The first time I saw her without her well-padded bra I thought I’d explode! We LOVE doing photo shoots of her and would love to trade with other flat ladies ( 40′s – 60)but there doesn’t seem to be any out there!? We wish there were sites that we could join.

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