Maybe the best eBay posting ever

My friend Matt O’Rourke just brought this to my attention: an eBay auction for an entire career’s worth of high-end cyclocross gear posted by a burned out “pro” who is dodging Nats  because of a self-described inability to ride in snow.

It’s pretty choice.

A few gems:

Now remember you get 5-6 sets of tubulars glued up by a complete Belgian ninja glue master. THEY will not roll. 3 sets of clinchers and 20 clincher tires. I have the old vintage GREEN Michelin’s, I have studded (you will want to try these), fat 29r’s, and every other tire you can imagine. I have searched the globe for a tire that can allow me to corner. Obviously I have not found the correct tire or I would be coming to Bend.

6 kits for all of your pre-riding. They all match and a few are retro. So if you choose to warm up before the single cog race you will you blend in. All kits have matching gloves, socks, hats, and vests. 99% of cycling is looking cool, and you are going to look like a rock star.

I am throwing in my UCI license that has 8 coveted UCI points on it. Why earn the points when you can buy them. I have a cool Wool jersey you can wear after the race so you blend in perfectly with the screaming crowd. You don’t have to scream too loud because I am including my cow-bell also. Not only do I want you to look like a bad ass racer, I want you also to be equipped to be the SUPER FAN. I can hardly ring the bell now without tears. I am passing the torch. Cross is dead to me.”

For Chrissake, go read the whole thing while I write my race report for today, wouldja?

Late Breaking News: I’m in touch with the salesman in question. It appears to be Sam Krieg of Pocatello, Idaho. And… it also appears that it’s not a joke! Who’s going to be the first bidder? I’m tempted by the tire selection alone. ;)

Possibly related (automatically generated) posts:

  1. Last Minute Tips for Nationals from Compton, Trebon and other Super Speedy Crossers I’ve been harassing super fast people for the past week...


  1. Do you remember the listing a few years ago from the Cat 1 aspiring-pro selling everything after getting shelled at Gila? Very similar.

  2. Yeah, but was it as funny?
    Krieg made it sound good!

  3. Heidi,

    Just got back from watching the Nationals in Bend. Went for for four days to ski and decompress. Decided after reading “everyday” for the last few months about cross that maybe watching the racing after some xc skiing might be ok. Took a friend that doesnt like biking at all (is that possible:).

    What a great four days. We watched all the afternoon races after skiing and cross is amazing. Sunday watched the entire day. My non biking friend loved it too. If only the Tour de France was as fun and friendly.

    Your writing made it interesting and seeing it may make it addicting.
    Thanks for the good writing.

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