Temptation is My Sicilian Lover

You can keep your damn twinkies.
You can keep your damn brownies.
Keep your pasta and rice and chicken fried steak.

You want temptation?

Stay with your Sicilian in-laws for three days and just see if that brick-oven in the backyard doesn’t kick your ass.

How do you say no to a woman who is only four feet tall and looks as if her heart might break if you don’t have another pizza?

You don’t.
You eat it.
And you like it.

And you don’t complain.

When your boyfriend’s white-haired father is pulling crispy-crusted pizza pies out of a wood oven that he and your boyfriend built by hand, brick by brick, you don’t say no.  You don’t even think about it.

When you’re spreading ricotta cheese that you and the four-foot mother-person have made from scratch earlier that day across hearty bread, you don’t protest.  You smile, breath deeply, inhale the scent of steamy carbs, slap a few garden-fresh homegrown tomato slices on top and clamp your teeth.  Better yet, add some anchiovies bathed in oil (these were brought by the small man with enormous eyebrows) and then clamp your teeth.

When the old, white-haired father-man offers you another glass of his homemade wine (acquired from a stash of barrels in the back shed) you take it.   You take it, you drink it, and you take the next one too.

You do not count.

Are you getting this?

When, after you’ve had two scaciatta, three personal pizzas and countless (remember the rule about not counting the wine) glasses of hooch, you are offered a calzone, you do not decline.  You call upon the gods to save you, you repent all your carby sins, and you clamp your teeth down around the hot, steamy, fresh love-pocket.

Then you eat the fruit.
And the dessert.

And you drink the espresso because if you don’t, you will definitely die.

This is a fitness blog written by a foodie.  This is a fitness blog written by a foodie with a Sicilian lover.  Don’t say I never warned you.

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5 comments

  1. sorry…couldn’t read the whole post…after I read brick oven in the backyard, you made me extremely jealous! you lucky pants, you!

  2. Those ovens kickass!

  3. haha…loved this post! If only I were not controlling my diet these days, I would have piked up my phone just about now and ordered a sicillian deep-dish pizza to be delivered home. alas!

  4. It’s true.
    Every word you wrote.
    You don’t count, and you don’t say no.
    Because this sort of thing is just too special and too worth it.

    (as opposed to a savory cart on Broadway…)

    I know that you enjoy the food because soon you will be back in your own home and in your own routine.

    And I know you enough to know that you have a gym mapped out in the area should you need or want it.

    :)

    Happy end of vacation, Miss Thang!!!

    I just made my first shake in my brand new blender. Vanilla whey protein, skim milk, some blueberries, 3 mango chunks. Yummy. The chocolate powder is better, but I’ve run out. I’m raising my glass to you…

  5. I am giving my treadmill to Goodwill. I am tossing my scale and taking down my mirrors. I am going to go naked and stop worrying about how clothes fit. (Like some comedian once said, I’ll “put on black shoe polish and a string of pearls for formal occasions because you’re always well dressed when you wear black.”)
    I am going to EAT. Now, all I need is your in-laws address.
    Loved it!

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