There’s a Reason They Call Me Waterfall: A Pain Cave Video

All the Veloforma girls have a nickname.  It’s part of the deal.

Being new to the squad, I’ve lingered without one for a few weeks – until last Wednesday.

Last Wednesday Tina taught me to ride rollers.  And then I sat on them for 2 hours at Therapeutic Associates in North Portland, kicking out the interval workout that was on my schedule.

It was a combination of intense focus and carefully metered exertion. The rollers required every ounce of my attention and so I stared forward with almost robotic stillness, with a soft gaze on the ground up ahead.

As I did so, the faucets turned on.  And my secret was out.

I sweat.  A lot.  I have sweat this way since the day I was born, when beads of moisture would appear on my nose.  It’s always the nose first.  Always.

When I tell people that I sweat a lot they always nod their heads and go, “oh yeah, me too…” but they don’t understand quite what I mean.

Finally, on Wednesday, Tina Brubaker was able to witness the spectacle up close and personal. And as I stared forward, a steady and relentless stream of drips fell from my nose, and then as the workout progressed, from the tip of my cycling cap, which had become completely saturated.

“Sweet Jesus, Swift.” The Manbreaker said, “That’s impressive.

And so, on yesterday’s team ride, she dubbed me “Waterfall”.  I’ve been called many things in my sporting life (Ajax, Gumby, Stretch, Swifty among them), but Waterfall works.  And it fits.

As it so happens, in conjunction with my official Nickname Ceremony, video proof as to its validity appeared on the internets.  My Sunday column for the Outdoors section of the Oregonian this week was about training indoors (Raging in the Pain Cave) and we produced a little video to go along with it:

Paincave

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18 comments

  1. I find it helps to wear less clothing when I’m on the rollers. See what you can get away with. It makes you a lot more comfortable, unless you’re uncomfortable showing skin. ;)

    It’s funny about your nose. For me, it’s my upper lip. Like a little water moustache.

    “Don’t Go Chasin’ Waterfalls…”

  2. YES. I usually wear less :) Just not on internets videos. I actually prefer bibs and sleeveless baselayer or long sports bra.

  3. Like, just paint “Veloforma” on your side, wear a chamois’d liner, and go! ;)

  4. Oh, and you seriously need a sweatband, not a cycling cap. I know I should be the last to say that, but I’ll go ahead and be the first.

  5. Ack! I can’t stand to see my gut when I am on the trainer. Gut-covering is a HS requirement. :)

  6. Way prefer cycling cap! Have tried both… all personal preference, I think!

  7. I’m also trying to acclimate for my trip to train in Arizona next week, so I started keeping the room hot with the windows shut and no fan :) And wearing full kit. Tucson simulation, baby!

  8. Fair enough. At least put a mesh back on it or something! You’re going to smother yourself!

  9. Holy crap, you sweat a LOT. I think I would have nicknamed you Juicy Fruit.

    Just ride in the morning in Tucson, and it will be nice and cold.

  10. By the way, how hot do you think it’s going to be in Tucson? I used to live there. This time of year, you might crack 70. You are punishing yourself for no reason. Open a damn window.

  11. Erik – Juicy Fruit RULES. I could only wish for such a cool nickname, however.

    As for Tucson – right now the weather people say 74 and sunny on the day that we arrive… but who knows. All I know is that if it’s above 65 degrees this rain-loving Seattle-native girl will probably go into convulsions. I’ll take all the preparation I can get!

  12. 74…nice. It gets really cold at night and warms up during the day. Have fun. Ride in the west hills – gates pass and beyond. You’ll LOVE it.

  13. Heidi,

    I think you need some more hobbies. :)

  14. Now I’ve seen proof that I should only be riding with you on your “easy”days. I”m very afraid. In the meantime show Arizona what a February waterfall really looks like.

  15. Two hours on rollers? HOURS?

    Jeepers H Crackers, I’m ready to scratch my eyes out after 45 minutes! And that’s with rollers being way more “fun” than a trainer!

    Guh…I’m already starting to twitch.

    I’ll take the rain, wind, and slush along with numb toes and frozen lips and unsightly runny nose over a mere 30 minutes on an indoor ride.

    :)

    And that is probably why I suck at racing. Double :)

  16. H2O -
    Nice post and video. Glad you learned to ride the rollers…they almost make indoor riding tolerable. Almost.

    My coach puts things like, “ride w/ no hands for 1 minute” in the notes for my roller workouts. Um, yeah, like how about I start w/, “take a drink from your waterbottle without ending up ass over tea kettle.”

    Have a wonderful time in Tuscon!

  17. Awesome Heidi – Awesome!!
    It can be waterfall or Juice Fruit.
    At least it’s not meatball like poor Steph :)
    I like juice fruit, you’ll probably hear that out of me, but who knows for EQ aka manbreaker :)

  18. Mark! EQ has begun to adopt Juicy Fruit. It might stick! :) I like it.

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